Your Relationship to the Other

This is part 3 in a 7-part post.

The second relationship people describe in their experiences is that of the other person.  Reflecting on this experience, people have shared that in the low energy group, they do not experience anything of the other person.  The other people are just there, maybe.  However, in the energizing experience, they see all of the different people.  A woman in a recent conversation shared, “They are all really creative, just as I am, and I really support that.”

There are places and groups where you do not experience the other.  The other does not exist.  At best, they are an annoyance or disturbance.  In this experience, you turn your back on the other, protecting yourself from their influence, making it impossible for you to see them.  You also experience that they do not see you.  This is the experience of the two, dark, slumped over, back-to-back figures in the figure below.

NEW Other Axis 032013

You also have the experience of being able to stand tall and face the other, seeing them as separate from you, with their own unique talents, gifts, and abilities.  In this experience, you feel seen by the other for what you can do and contribute.  This is the experience of the two individuals facing each other in the above figure.

Occasionally, you also have the experience of being seen completely by another, who you also see completely.  You experience that the other sees who you are and who you can be.  They see right into your soul.  You feel liberated at what another was able to see in you.  They saw and experienced the light that streams through you, your deepest moments of possibility and creativity.  In the other, you see gifts that they do not even know of themselves.  You see the potential.  It feels you with warmth to experience this flow of light-Spirit potential in another.  You experience that together you can see even further than you could alone.  This is the experience of the two individuals on the right side of teh figure above.

Your relationship to the other is how you experience another human being.  This is the “you” that the “I” experiences in another.  This is your experience of relating to someone else who is having an “I” experience, and your ability to see the “I” that uniquely expresses in the other, just as the “I” uniquely expresses in you.

Along the continuum of your relationship to the other, you have three experiences, from the back-to-back, collapsed experience of low vibrancy to the embracing, fully open experience of high vibrancy.  At each level of vibrancy, you are able to see more in the other.  In the higher levels of vibrancy, you experience more of the other, and you experience more of your own self being seen by the other.  Like we saw with our relationship to our own self, the level of harmonic vibrancy available in our relationship to another is an agreement that we accept, whether or not we are aware of it.  We agree to the group’s spoken and unspoken rules about how much of the other is present in the relationship.  We accept this, which means that we can also choose a different agreement, an agreement of greater harmonic vibrancy.

From what people have shared with me, it seems that we have two different experiences.  When you see other people, do you see another brilliant soul or someone intent on disturbing you?  The disturber is everywhere.  They cut you off in traffic, give you extra work to do, make you pay taxes, disappoint you, spoil your appetite, and hurt your feelings.  They make your life more difficult.  That is one experience.  The other experience happens when we are faced with a brilliant soul who brings lightness to our life.  They make you smile.  They make your heart overflow with joyful tears.  They prove to you, continuously, how beautiful life can be.  Whether it is the artist down the street, the author of your favorite book, the genius you respect, your mother, or your kid shining on stage, you experience the brightness of their light shining through their offering.  Jennie Jerome Churchill, Winston Churchill’s mother, said, “Treat your friends as you do your pictures, and place them in the best light.”

My request to you

Please reply in these pages to share your own experiences, thoughts on what I share, or questions that arise.  I invite you as a citizen scientist to participate in the naming of the emerging field, which I refer to as ecosynomics, and in realizing the higher harmonic vibrancy available to all of us.

15 thoughts on “Your Relationship to the Other

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