Re-cognizing Relational Strengths Before They Atrophy or Before We Kill Them

I observe that, from big initiatives to small, people seem to focus on strengthening one particular relationship.  The relationship to the self or to the other or to the group or to nature or to spirit.  We need to support individuals finding their own developmental path (for the self)!  We need greater fairness in pay (to the other)!  If we would just appreciate each other’s unique contributions, it would all work better (for the group)!  Can’t you see that we have to manifest a new possibility (for nature)?  It is all a matter of appreciating the creative source in all of us!  If we just do this one thing, focus on this one relationship, then it will all work!

And sometimes it does seem to work.  So, we want to copy what they say they did.  They say they just focused on the one relationship (self, other, group, nature, or spirit), and they seemed to be successful.  They got the results we want, and they had the experience we want.  Our research suggests this might not be what happened.

Through the Ecosynomics framing of the five primary relationships and over 1,700 responses to the HV survey, we see that the groups around the world reporting the experience of higher levels of harmonic vibrancy and stronger, sustainable outcomes, all have great strengths in ALL FIVE primary relationships—self and other and group and nature and spirit.  They are strong in all of them.

This suggests another version to the previous story, and the lesson we can learn from them.  The reason they focused on the one relationship, such as freedom for the self, might be because they were already stronger in the other four relationships, and the self was the weakest one.  The self needed to be strengthened, to catch up with the other relationships.  And, as they strengthened the focus on the freedom of the self, they also continued to strength the fairness with the other, appreciation of the unique contributions of each, as they manifested possibilities, by welcoming the creativity they saw everywhere.  In other words, it was because they were already strong in four relationships, that the seemingly strong focus on one relationship worked so well.

The lesson learned?  By being aware of the existing relational strengths, it is possible to develop mechanisms that focus on a weaker relationship to bring it inline with the others.  Playing with words, this is bringing into cognition, into awareness, existing strengths, again: re-cognizing.  When we recognize our relational strengths, we can choose to focus on one, for awhile, without losing attention to or atrophying the others.

This is completely different than starting from a collapsed state, where all five relationships are weak, as in the figure below, and focusing solely on one relationship with the hopes that it alone will get you to experience better outcomes and higher levels of harmonic vibrancy.  There’s no evidence that it works.  Just a lack of recognition of the strengths that were already there.  The other existing conditions they did not see to mention.


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