You experience lower to higher vibrancy in your relationships — lower to higher harmony — energy killing to energy enhancing. And you know this, somehow. You also prefer the higher vibrancy, more harmonic, energy enhancing experience. Our survey data from 93 countries show that you are not alone. We all prefer this. If we know this, then why do we accept lower vibrancy experiences? This might be due in part to our unconscious acceptance of agreements we do not see. Another factor might be simply that we do not know that what we are perceiving is information. We might just think it is noise.
From information theory, scientists draw a useful distinction for us in this question, between signal and noise. Signal is meaningful information and noise is not. What we experience as “noise,” we consider to be featureless, lacking in distinctive characteristics. What we experience as “signal,” we consider to be featureful, full of the characteristics we seek.
In conversations with hundreds of groups of people over the past ten years, I find that most of us tend to dismiss our experience of energy-depleting relationships, saying, “That’s just the way it is, isn’t it?” I have heard this thousands of times, from groups all over the world. What if this information, this experience you have, is a signal about something? Lots of recent research suggests this information signals your acceptance of an agreement, whether you are conscious of it or not.
To see that what we tend to think of as noise with no features is actually a signal full of features, it is useful to know what features we are looking for, to be aware that our experience is telling us something.
Here is an exercise you can try. What if that experience you have of lower to higher vibrancy in your relationships is a piece of information that you are sending yourself signaling whether you want to be in that agreement or not? If you experience lower vibrancy, that might be how you signal to yourself that you do not want to accept the agreement. If you experience higher vibrancy, you could be signaling to yourself that you accept the agreement. What do you find that you are signaling to yourself? Featureless noise — who cares — or featureful signal — you care. It only takes a few minutes to try this exercise. I invite you to share what you observe in this exercise in the Comments section here.